Page 1 of 2
Sad Lion News.....
Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 9:47 am
by Rammer
Former Lion loses daughter to suicide
The Vancouver Sun
Wed 08 Oct 2008
Page: E2
Section: Sports
Byline: Mike Beamish
Source: Vancouver Sun
Ray Alexander was involved in one of the most dramatic, I-don't-believe-what-I-just-saw moments in Lions' history 14 years ago. But the reason for his return to the Vancouver area this week was profoundly more disbelieving.
The death of his 15-year-old daughter, Acacia Abraham, by suicide brought the receiver who wore No. 88 for the Lions to 88th Avenue in Surrey , where the funeral of the Grade 10 Holy Cross student was held at St. Matthew's Roman Catholic Church.
"It's such a tragic thing," Alexander said Tuesday, as he watched his former team practise at their Surrey facility. "She was so young and bright. Her whole life was ahead of her. I'd just like to say to young people everywhere, 'If you have some personal problems, family problems, seek counsel.' Talk to your parents, your teachers, your friends. Don't let it come to that point where it [suicide] is the only way out."
Alexander, who has a landscaping business in Daytona Beach, Fla., played four seasons with the Lions from 1990-94 and retired as a CFL player in 1995, after a season in Ottawa. He held the Lions single-season record of 104 catches before he was passed by teammate Darren Flutie (111 in '94) and Geroy Simon (105 in 2006).
The ex-Lion was living apart from his daughter, who was being raised by her mom, Sophia Abraham, and stepdad, Dan Bubas. Alexander said he had talked with Acacia about joining his family in Florida in January. He has two other daughters.
"It's very sad that I didn't have an opportunity to be there for my daughter when she needed it the most," Alexander said. "I'm grieving. It's just plain tragic. She was just an everyday girl with lots and lots of friends.
Re: Sad Lion News.....
Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 11:18 am
by TheLionKing
That is tragic. A parent should never have to bury one of their children.
Re: Sad Lion News.....
Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 12:02 pm
by Big Time
No they shouldn't. Very sad indeed.
And for what it's worth, I still can't believe they called that a catch, not that I'm complaining.
Re: Sad Lion News.....
Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 12:19 pm
by Wakesbetterthanyou
TheLionKing wrote:That is tragic. A parent should never have to bury one of their children.
agreed, tho suicide is an incredibly selfish act, i cant call the act tragic. I feel for ray and his family. Not something anyone should have to endure.
Re: Sad Lion News.....
Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 12:24 pm
by SammyGreene
Terrible to think Ray has to come back to Vancouver under those circumstances. Glad see him drop by to visit his former employer.
A terrific receiver who was silky smooth. He looked great whether it was Flutie, Barrett, Austin or McManus throwing him passes.
Re: Sad Lion News.....
Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 12:31 pm
by Vern Halen
My sympathies go out to Ray and his family as well...
Re: Sad Lion News.....
Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 1:09 pm
by NTS451
Wakesbetterthanyou wrote:TheLionKing wrote:That is tragic. A parent should never have to bury one of their children.
agreed, tho suicide is an incredibly selfish act, i cant call the act tragic. I feel for ray and his family. Not something anyone should have to endure.
How can you not consider this tragic! A 15 year girl was so troubled that she thought her only way out was suicide. If you ask me that is very tragic and heart wrenching!
Re: Sad Lion News.....
Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 1:43 pm
by No Ordinary Joe
Very sad news indeed. Thoughts and prayers go out to Ray and his family.
Re: Sad Lion News.....
Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 4:07 pm
by Wakesbetterthanyou
NTS451 wrote:Wakesbetterthanyou wrote:TheLionKing wrote:That is tragic. A parent should never have to bury one of their children.
agreed, tho suicide is an incredibly selfish act, i cant call the act tragic. I feel for ray and his family. Not something anyone should have to endure.
How can you not consider this tragic! A 15 year girl was so troubled that she thought her only way out was suicide. If you ask me that is very tragic and heart wrenching!
Not to be overly unPC but i have ZERO sympathy for someone who takes the cowards way out. I know all about it as i did the same thing when i was young but lived thro it. Suicide is a decision made by someone so selfish they cannot see beyond their own eyes. Trust me i kno, and i live with it everyday.
Re: Sad Lion News.....
Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 4:22 pm
by NTS451
agreed, tho suicide is an incredibly selfish act, i cant call the act tragic. I feel for ray and his family. Not something anyone should have to endure.[/quote]
How can you not consider this tragic! A 15 year girl was so troubled that she thought her only way out was suicide. If you ask me that is very tragic and heart wrenching![/quote]
Not to be overly unPC but i have ZERO sympathy for someone who takes the cowards way out. I know all about it as i did the same thing when i was young but lived thro it. Suicide is a decision made by someone so selfish they cannot see beyond their own eyes. Trust me i kno, and i live with it everyday.[/quote]
Everyone has been effected by something like this at some point in their lives and I'm sure they all have and show more than sympathy than you. Next time try harder.
Re: Sad Lion News.....
Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 4:34 pm
by kidder
Very sad to hear the new's. All the best Ray to you and your's.
Re: Sad Lion News.....
Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 5:03 pm
by Wakesbetterthanyou
NTS451 wrote:agreed, tho suicide is an incredibly selfish act, i cant call the act tragic. I feel for ray and his family. Not something anyone should have to endure.
How can you not consider this tragic! A 15 year girl was so troubled that she thought her only way out was suicide. If you ask me that is very tragic and heart wrenching![/quote]
Not to be overly unPC but i have ZERO sympathy for someone who takes the cowards way out. I know all about it as i did the same thing when i was young but lived thro it. Suicide is a decision made by someone so selfish they cannot see beyond their own eyes. Trust me i kno, and i live with it everyday.[/quote]
Everyone has been effected by something like this at some point in their lives and I'm sure they all have and show more than sympathy than you. Next time try harder.[/quote]
As previously stated, i do feel bad for the family. Thats not something that any parent should have to do. But my opinion stands, please dont try to make me you.
Re: Sad Lion News.....
Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 6:33 pm
by Toppy Vann
It is indeed a sad and tragic event for those left behind wondering why or what might have been. How hard for a family to get closure when it is someone so young with good friends and family there.
It can be hard for others not to judge another in these circumstances for many reasons.
While most of the us are capable of thinking in shades of grey and not just black and white, many young people who get into situations like this might only see the darkness and not the light or the opportunities they will miss if they give up on life. I really don't know.
What I do know is that it is far too common an occurrence in our culture and many teenagers find themselves unprepared to cope with the dilemmas people face every day. Nietzsche said it best - "he who has a why to live can bear with almost any how. Do kids get themselves into situations where they are unable to see that their fears and shattered hopes are temporary? I don't know but it seems that must be the situation for many.
One of the greatest books I have ever read over and over is "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl written in the 1940s. Frankl was a Jew held captive by the Germans during WW 2. He noticed that among his fellow prisoners those who thought positively and refused to cave into the captors lived. Others who didn't or couldn't or whatever simply got ill and died. He offers no answers as to why others don't all look at the bright side and control their attitudes and emotions.
It is tough and WakesisBetterThanYou and his views reflect some of the differences in how we are all wired differently. We all don't react the same way to anything including watching a Lions game. On other threads people are posting about how they get emotional in Lions games and some stay that way post - game. While others of us don't get overly excited and have fewer emotions during games and are more even keeled - few real highs and few real lows. We are all just different.
Frankl concluded that "everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
We may never ever have answers to why people do this but we need to make sure there are outlets for youth to express their fears and apprehensions before they do something so sad. In Canada, the numbers have been rising for some years now and that is not good.
Our condolences to the family and friends of this young girl are all we can share for now, but this is a problem in our communities that strikes many, many families.
Re: Sad Lion News.....
Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 7:37 pm
by Hawkballer 14
Oh man.
It saddens me immensely to hear of stories such as this. A young life ended prematurely because they saw no way out of their predicament.
My thoughts and prayers go out to Ray Alexander and his family.
Re: Sad Lion News.....
Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 8:18 pm
by KnowItAll
Wakesbetterthanyou wrote: Suicide is a decision made by someone so selfish they cannot see beyond their own eyes. Trust me i kno, and i live with it everyday.
Thats one of the biggest *poop* statements I have seen on any forum. I have lived with it almost every day as well, for almost 50 yrs. Doesnt make either one of us an expert. However, your statement does make you very narrow minded and ignorant on the subject, regardless of your personal experience and feelings.
For one thing, think of what that says to a child whose parent couldnt cope. Do you want to say to that child that the parent didnt care enough about them to live? Sometimes, a parent dies because however misguided, they think it is best for their kid(s). There are all kinds of unselfish reasons for suicide. Who the hell do you think you are to declare there is not.